Dark Wings

Your deepest presence,
Is in every small contraction and expansion.
The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings.

Rumi

This quote is really where I'm at these days mentally. Trying to just be, and to feel my essence in everything I do. Breathing is such a miraculous thing I often take for granted. It is not only necessary for living but for maintaining balance. I've been getting back into yoga and the instructor often tells us to focus on our breath during the more strenuous poses. It's crazy how well it works, even when you feel you're about to fall apart. I'm trying to incorporate this more into daily life as well and this quote is such a beautiful way to think about the present moment. I've always had a thing with birds and wings <3

Black has felt like home to me lately. Which is so different for me because I never used to wear it at all, but I'm enjoying the feeling of change and experimentation. I dress to my mood and what I'm intuitively drawn to. I love that this top literally made me feel like I had wings. I'm reading this book called, "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Today I read such a beautiful passage about a duck. It was describing how humans tend to cling to the past in an unhealthy way. He talked about how ducks sometimes get into short quarrels. They do their thing, figure it out, and then each duck flaps its wings and returns to being, like nothing happened. The process of the duck flapping its wings is sort of its release from the moment. It's letting go of what happened and by the time it lands it's back to just being. I see this happen with my birds too. They have these momentary quarrels and then they're back to their playing, flying, eating, and chirping in a second! He goes on to talk about how our memories are there to help us learn from our mistakes and to grow. They are not there to trap us into a mental prison that prevents us from living and being present/happy.

So back to the outfit. These pants are really strange and I'm aware that they are saggy in the crotch area looool. They are meant to be worn under a traditional Pakistani outfit but I decided to experiment and wear them like this. Even though it looks weird, I still think it's funky as hell! When I worked with stylist Nicole from this shoot, she did something similar in one of the outfits and I've been wanting to experiment with pants like that ever since. I'll be hunting for some the next time I go thrifting for sure.

I really enjoyed the release of dressing up in these colors and feeling the wind beneath my "wings" in this kimono cover up thingy. By the way, this is my first sewing clothing creation!!! I took a few sewing classes with my mom and I finally learned how to sew. (If you're in my area check out In Stitches Sewing) I'm really happy with how it came out and it was super affordable for my low budget style. It took me a few hours but the actual design is easy to make because it's basically a box! We used a pattern she had and modified it to what I was looking for. It was a bit too baggy looking and my teacher suggested sewing a line on the sides to slim it down, instead of taking it in, so it wouldn't loose the wing effect. I'm glad we did that because those wings are my favorite part.

Stay present!

Feda

P.S. Let me know if you want a post on how to make something like this. It's very beginner friendly :)

Outfit Details:
Winged kimono: Handmade with love.
Turban: Scarf wrapped like a turban by Lucky Brand from TJ Maxx
Button up shirt: H&M
Pants: Hand me down
Ballet Flats: also Lucky Brand from TJ Maxx
Chunky Turquoise Necklace: Tibetan shop 
Hamsa necklace: Pendant from Michaels craft store and I added the chain and painted the stone turquoise.
Little turquoise spike/pendant H&M
Sometimes people ask me about my lipstick. This is a Wet N Wild pencil in Mink Brown with a Wet N Wild matte lipstick in Mocha-licious in the center and blended out to make the pencil more creamy. It comes out like a really dark brown with some reddy/cool/brown in the center. I love this combo!